I pissed myself. Straight up my shirt, morning wood.. ya know.
Okay so it was like this. You ever get that feeling that something just ain’t quiet right. You’re morning alarm is just a few minutes off. Like you’re totally awake, check your phone and your alarm isn’t due for another three minutes. It’s just that off feeling. Like some elves or goblins snuck into your house and moved all your furniture a quarter of an inch to the left. Like totally not enough that you’d stub your toe but just enough that you know it’s wrong.
I told myself “I’m just waking up don’t bother with it. Get to the bathroom. Crank down your dick and piss away the pain.”
Well, I leave the bedroom and there’s an ass hanging out my fridge. Dash those hopes, it was a man. I’m like totes in the middle of a morning burgle. I think I groaned or the floorboards groaned, I didn’t know if I’d be kicking out a crack head or what.
“Ah, I see you’re finally awake.” The dude said as he poped up out of the fridge, with the sub I bought for lunch.
I gave him the secret code. “Hello There?”
No that’s not the weirdest part. Man my brain was melting, I tell ya, so. So he had my face and my body. Yeah like he got the code wrong memer, but he actually didn’t. Yes though as I was saying, He was me. Like a mirror or a clone, but fracker he was rude. So he wasn’t me.
Oh yeah, right!
So after he saw the look of horror on my face for getting the code wrong he drew a gun on me. My gun, He pointed. I would of grabbed my machete or dashed charged him and gouged out his eyes, maybe take a shot to my spare kidney but memer ya’know your boy no one fucks with ya boy. But, well, but, no memer I pissed myself straight up my nips. UGH!#! Black kraken pisses like a tar vinegar. I almost threw up. My throat clenched and my nuts tingled. I think I might have a thing for danger, IDK.
Well He explains this whole Admiral business, and um well He told me like he was me but not from this timeline and like I’m not from this timeline either. Shit, he was pretty clear that it was important and he went over it twice. I wouldn’t have, explained half the shit he did, so he totally wasn’t actually ya boy.
Oh fuck, I just realized your not my memer. I mean since I’m in a different timeline, I’m not even ya boy. I’m like ya boy. But I’m not like my rude space time cop. So I’m totes probably not like Your boy.
Fuck I’m like all alone, stranger dangers and space rangers,
I’m like pretending to be this places me, Imposter syndrome X-cept legit
Maybe we can be new friends ?!?
could I call you memer-2 or something though I couldn’t even keep my two high school friends Josh straight. Yeah likes one was gay but the other was a chick. Didn’t help know one they had the same taste in boyfriends either.
So memer+ friends?
you can call me MC(prime)