Revolver (movie) certified fresh as a critical failure.

Here is the translations of the movies quote cards.

Den ärgsten feind findet man dort, wo man ihn zuletzt erwartet.

-Julius Cäsar, 75 v. Chr.

“The greatest enemy will hide in the last place you would ever look.”

-Julius Caesar 75 BC

Man wird nur schlauer, wenn man gegen schlauere Gegner spielt.

-Fundamentals of Chess, 1883

“The only way to get smarter is by playing a smarter opponent.”

-Fundamentals of Chess 1883

“Erste Regel des ge werbes: Beschütze Deine Anlage.

-Etiquette of the Banker, 1775

“First rule of business, protect you investment.”

-Etiquette of the Banker 1775

Kriege können nicht verhindert werden; man kann sie lediglich zum Voteil anderer hinauszögern.

Niccoló Machiavelli, 1502

“There is no avoiding war, it can only be postponed to the advantage of your enemy.”

-Niccolo Machiavelli 1502

SPOILER FREE thoughts

My very first viewing of this movie was roughly in 2011. During my time among the silent service we didn’t have access to the internet but some of the techs had set up a personal area network the PAN where we could load movies, books, TV, music and have our own little library of sorts. So without google it was difficult to choose what to watch on your own.

On name alone I queued “revolver” then I saw Jason Statham with hair and not just hair a gangster mullet. I lost the suspension of disbelief and knew I couldn’t enjoy the rest of the movie so I stopped this movie after the first four minutes because I wasn’t going to like it. And you’re not going to like it either. I jumped forward a few times to see if there was anything worth watching and saw that Andre 3000 had a part in this movie and that got my attention. I will suffer the Jason Statham mullet in the future and watch this later just to see why Benjamin Andre is in this movie.

So I watched it and you should to.

My first viewing went over like this.

It was visually gorgeous. The music, well placed classical chords.

Everything crafted to be as aesthetic pleasing without being complex or distracting. When the movie goes into it’s heavier themes visually it becomes simpler so you’re not distracted and the message is as loud and clear as though through a mega-horn. If you’ve seen SNATCH then you know Guy Ritchie can edit a movie and sections of this movie that take place across multiple scenes, sets, and times are edited and cut together so well that it delivers all the necessary narrative information quickly, entertainingly, and without a lull.

BUT just like every 1/2 star rating after my first viewing

I hated it. I hated Jason’s mullet. I hated the air quotes Complexity. I didn’t believe the characters. I didn’t buy the motivations. My expectations where not met. I did like how it looked though and I did want to at least try to understand what the fuck was going on.

Why did this movie not make any sense?

I like Andre 3000 of OUTKAST because of how he hides lyric genius and contradiction in light pop/rap from the early 2000’s. Whether is “Mrs Jackson” or “Hey Ya!”

Andre 3000 has done a hundred times successfully what this movie is trying to do. He gives the medicine a candy coating, hides the vitamins in a gummy.

Director Guy Ritchie attempts and fails at this.

Now watch this movie, go to sleep and come back for why exactly the people that love this movie shout it’s praise so loud and why those who hate it have no other choice but to hate it. And to answer the question.

Why did this movie not make any sense?

Why as of this articles publication it is rocking a 16% rotten tomatoes score without an audience score.

IMDb has it as a 6.5/10 from 83,538 reviews.

You have to sit though it at least once to understand why critics hate it.

I’ll be here after you do.

+++Spoilers Ahead+++

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