Techno puritan dating app “TechTemperance”
The Techno Puritan Federation has decided to monetize romantic evangelism. Taking a cue from the LDS singles churches, The Techno Puritans have gone digital.
“It’s not about getting revenue from exploiting the lonely. It’s about solving a problem, and that’s why we don’t care about turning a profit from the app itself. It’s about creating a healthy and happy base for the Federation for generations to come.”
Critics of the App have stated that this nothing more than a russian funded orthodox christian honeypot, which seeks to exploit it’s users by funneling them into the cult, with it’s promises of creating “successful” relationships and by “successful” they mean explicitly hetrosexual relationship for the purpose of making women into baby factories. They’re advice is to “STEER CLEAR and STAY QUEER” direct words from Efreet Alimony (“Islam’s most progressive Imam” -Vanity unFare)
The Designers think that the applications unique restrictions, restrictions they brand as features, will allow users to spend enough time, digitally at first, with potential matches. Biological women who have hit their head on a rock and wish to use this handmaiden esq. App must have three other people, verified with phone numbers, facebook pages, and bank accounts, register as her guardians. These guardian’s will be given the profiles of potential matches and they will select the user’s potential matches. Those selected matches will be her only options for an entire month. Ladies and Gentlemen we have gone back to regency level women’s rights and a cavemen’s idea of women as property. Disguised as women’s safety.
“We think that in the modern era, it’s not the fault of the 20 something looking for love, hopped up on hormones and hallmark romance, that women are vulnerable to ill intentioned actors. Having the courtier’s motives, online profile, and text’s via the app under the scrutiny of not just his potential wife but of some of her closest community. All of whom have the power to potentially veto the toxic actor, should give an extra sense of safety beyond sending a friend a screenshot of a man and a location where the murder investigation should start.”
Disregarding the attempts at humorizing the real threat every man poses against women, the App explicitly excludes Transgendered women from joining. While the App is free to biological Cis-women and their guardians, it does require a deposit which is forfeited if the user is found to be transgender. Not just shaming but to steal from our transgender sisters, another sign that the capitalist user licenses hold more power than the constitution.
When asked what if a woman doesn’t have three people who are willing to be her guardians.
“We don’t have the best answer for people who can not conduct themselves well enough to have friends or family…”
He then proceeded to offer me tips about how to find and make meaningful relationships. After my ears stopped bleeding from the ten thousandth time I’ve been mansplained too, we discussed the most controversial restriction the app demands. There are five levels of a potential relationship. If a user and her courtier advance themselves to level five, then the courtier has access to all the messages she made to others using the app and he can decide whether or not to remove the women’s ability to chat with other men.
All of these restrictions, or features, are meant to streamline dating so that marriage is reached within six months of a user and her courtier reaching level five. While we think that is operation warp speed levels of promise. The founder’s state that they have discounts and in most cases free access to their martial contract services, fancy words for prenuptial agreements.
The one nice thing I will say about this app is that for the desperate Biological Cis-gender Women is that once you decide to take back your life and leave the app. Your “commitment” deposit is returned promptly.
- An interview with S.A. Tire.
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