Short stories and articles of thought

stranger dangers and space rangers, Imposter syndrome X-cept legit

I pissed myself. Straight up my shirt, morning wood.. ya know.

Okay so it was like this. You ever get that feeling that something just ain’t quiet right. You’re morning alarm is just a few minutes off. Like you’re totally awake, check your phone and your alarm isn’t due for another three minutes. It’s just that off feeling. Like some elves or goblins snuck into your house and moved all your furniture a quarter of an inch to the left. Like totally not enough that you’d stub your toe but just enough that you know it’s wrong.

I told myself “I’m just waking up don’t bother with it. Get to the bathroom. Crank down your dick and piss away the pain.”

Well, I leave the bedroom and there’s an ass hanging out my fridge. Dash those hopes, it was a man. I’m like totes in the middle of a morning burgle. I think I groaned or the floorboards groaned, I didn’t know if I’d be kicking out a crack head or what.

“Ah, I see you’re finally awake.” The dude said as he poped up out of the fridge, with the sub I bought for lunch.

I gave him the secret code. “Hello There?”

“Admiral Kenobi!”

No that’s not the weirdest part. Man my brain was melting, I tell ya, so. So he had my face and my body. Yeah like he got the code wrong memer, but he actually didn’t. Yes though as I was saying, He was me. Like a mirror or a clone, but fracker he was rude. So he wasn’t me.

Oh yeah, right!

So after he saw the look of horror on my face for getting the code wrong he drew a gun on me. My gun, He pointed. I would of grabbed my machete or dashed charged him and gouged out his eyes, maybe take a shot to my spare kidney but memer ya’know your boy no one fucks with ya boy. But, well, but, no memer I pissed myself straight up my nips. UGH!#! Black kraken pisses like a tar vinegar. I almost threw up. My throat clenched and my nuts tingled. I think I might have a thing for danger, IDK.

Well He explains this whole Admiral business, and um well He told me like he was me but not from this timeline and like I’m not from this timeline either. Shit, he was pretty clear that it was important and he went over it twice. I wouldn’t have, explained half the shit he did, so he totally wasn’t actually ya boy.

Oh fuck, I just realized your not my memer. I mean since I’m in a different timeline, I’m not even ya boy. I’m like ya boy. But I’m not like my rude space time cop. So I’m totes probably not like Your boy.

Fuck I’m like all alone, stranger dangers and space rangers,

I’m like pretending to be this places me, Imposter syndrome X-cept legit

Maybe we can be new friends ?!?

could I call you memer-2 or something though I couldn’t even keep my two high school friends Josh straight. Yeah likes one was gay but the other was a chick. Didn’t help know one they had the same taste in boyfriends either.

So memer+ friends?

you can call me MC(prime)

A room of yellow walls

Quantum computing will not work. (yet)

Quantum computing is attempting to alter the hardware running the simulation by altering the software

within reality as we know it, there exist quantum bits, which unlike binary switches are neither 0 or 1 / on or off, but exist on a probability spectrum of positive and negative or 0 and 1 / on or off

current attempts at creating a quantum computer which would be able to harass superior mathematical processing power of dual position switches need massive coolers to reduce the and lock the movement of the quantum bits into specific entanglements.

The reason why these computers require massive energy for successful construction is that the energy being generated by the particulars used for calculation, is also why these bits are more powerful than silicon switches. They exist and function on more planes than the silicon switch. Silicon switches have limited interaction with heat and magnetism, but these too would cease to function as intended under extreme conditions. Extreme conditions for the quantum switches is normal conditions of reality

It is my current understanding that quantum computing would require more energy than it would produce in effectiveness of it’s superior calculating ability.

However if these bits were being operating from outside of reality then the properties from inside reality would have a lower degree of affect on the results and position of the quantum switch,

we won’t master quantum computing until we can master not only the bi-directional spin, but the four (possibly more) dimensions of influence that heat, light, and observation have on the position.

If someone invented a three position switch 0, 1, 2, or on, off, other, all computing language would have to re-written but the results of processing would be squared or greater.

I think that current attempts at quantum computing are flawed in that they are essentially binding a multi-positional bit to a two position switch, rather than adapting the mathematical code for the 3 to 4 position switch which we can currently produce through control of temperature.

with love,

hngyhngyhppo

To Z keep your chin up

Here’s what I think happened…

First here are my assumptions, if they are incorrect
Then this analysis is incorrect
No 1 you have less than 3 hours a week of a dedicated work period
In which I mean you have the requisite 20 min wind, and a period of no less than 30min
No 2 you have huge pockets of 5 minutes sprinkled throughout your week,
Which while effective for communication, ineffective for deep work
No 3 you do not seek direct help
Idk if its pride or not wanting to bother people but it is my impression that you brute force your works
And then if they do not work out you burn out, step back and grow very little experience wise
No 4 you accept the lowest and simplist explanation

So here’s what I saw with your land grab campaign,

You started it on a whim, awhile secretly tending your expectations that it would just be
A success, you asked people to give and some did but no where near enough traction or virality
Took off, people did what they could but you know a lot of people held back
And we both know that hurts

I think the primary reason for the land grab failure was actually a marketing and organization
Failure.

Oil companies pay billions less in taxes Because they spend millions lobbying congress

I don’t think you spent any money on advertising the campaign
I don’t think you had a team of people willing to contact or use their dedicated time
To give you solutions
Otherwise, you may have incorporated as a 501(3)c to make donations tax deductible, then reached out to relevant influencers with the pagan space

Your whim was a HUGE project and you overestimated virality amd the reach of your social network

We only see the show, not the rehearsal
Watch the 100 meter dash takes 5 minutes or less of the Olympic broadcast
But those sprinters have been training for years just to qualify

You and I are practically JV team compared to who and what we are competing with for the attention and resources of others (even our friends and families)

Another solution that might have been worth pursuing would be federal grants … just a thought

I see this in your videos as well, you need to spend the cash to fix the audio, its 2020 not 2002
People expect better

As the bare minimum

Much love
Hngyhngyhppo

There are THREE types of labour

Physical, Mental, Emotional

The trinity

I’m on quite a kick, trying to philosphize whether or not we choose to be born.

Stuck in the middle between the joker and a clown,

I’ve heard the arguments

“I didn’t choose to be born.”

“How could you bring a child into this?”

but what if you did choose to be born?

What if you had a choice to be right here, right now?

What would that mean?

I’m exploring this line of thought and it’s changing everything

If I accept that from before I formed my first “flesh” memory, I existed

AND I chose this “flesh mech”

(Like a character creator in any mmo)

then I …. I am responsible for everything

but if I did not chose this then well I’m not responsible

What does this mean?

A.) I can change the world, I chose this

B.) I am a victim of the circumstance of my birth

I know it’s not black and white

but it leans towards TRUE.

Yes I choose this body, this flesh, this star sign, this DNA, this synaptic structure

I chose to be in pain right now

I chose a flesh mech without participation to emotional processing

THERE ARE THREE types of labour

Physical

Moving mountains by strength and force of will

Mental

Engineering the best way to move that montain

EMOTIOINAL

every blade of grass

whose hope was to grow high enough to seed another generation,

every tree

who planted roots in the hillside

every pebble

that enjoys the sun, shade, and it’s place on the mountain

EMOTION

is the force against the hopes of others

Pyshopaths are detached from their emotions and others

for my mech,

well it’s an exposed nerve

I feel for the trees, the plants, the bugs

inaminate, animate

all are one in the end

and

Emotional labour

(TO CARE FOR)

to sympathize with

to empathize with

is the heaviest stone for me to lift

I feel it all

no alchol can numb the pain

no drug can fix the design

nothing

I chose this mech

Mental

+30

Physical

+20(+10-30)

Emotional

-?????

This is not my soul’s first pass through this game

called LIFE

It is my current ambition that it is my last

and that my wife comes with me into the after (beyond) ife

where we both rejoin the source.

Please support

please question

PLS

DUES VULT

The virtues of profit

My family called me crazy. I’ve been banned from my home-world but as the Rule of Accusation #75 clearly states home is where the heart is but the stars are made of Latinum.

To be honest I converted to the Religion of Ferenginar out of greed, envious of the wealth that the Ferengi merchants where able to acquire and display among my poor frontier homeland. The beautiful escorts and servants that accompanied them.

After reading the Rules of Acquisition, I knew I would have to convert in order to have an “honest” contract with Ferengi*. Rule of Acquastion #17 a contract is a contract is a contract… but only with a Ferengi.

I expected a baptism, maybe recite the complete rules, take some vows and wham! Bam! Thank you ma’am, I’d be a Ferengi (in name and contract only of course). Actually what surprised me was that the first action was to actually sell off all of my possessions. Govak explained that when a Ferengi grows from adolescence to adulthood they sell all there childhood possessions in order to raise capital for the pursuit of profit. It helps the young mentally transition, putting childlike things behind them and start their new life unburdened by their previous possessions.

For a religion centered around profit and acquisition this didn’t seem right. I wasn’t exactly a child, I had to sell everything, my home, my stocks, all but my last two pairs of clothes. Govak offered to purchase them all but of course I was able to sell them to my friends and former family for a higher price. In the end I was able to gather thirty bars worth of Latinum and purchase my license to trade on the Ferengi Exchange. After registering with the Trade Commission I was as Ferengi as a natural born Ferengi male, at least according to the FTC which means that any other FTC member who broke a contract with me would have their assets seized and be discharged from both the religion and the Grand Exchange.

The night after I acquired my license and citizenship within the Ferengi Alliance, I celebrated and got drunk. Lost a two bars worth of Latinum at the Dabo table, one more at the Tongo game. I knew in my heart I was going to make a fortune being able to trade with Ferengi merchants “honestly”.

That night his holiness Gint, The author of the Rules of Acquisition and the First Grand Nagus, visited me in my dreams. I was out of my mind drunk and just assumed this was my guilt playing at my mind. For having tricked the Ferengi into thinking I believed in there silly profit oriented rules, that governed their lives. I was certain it was my guilt since Gint, said he was their to size up the first of my species to convert to Ferengi. He keep comparing my to the Yridians, a cousin species of the Ferengi, notorious information traders. My ears were too small, my hands too big, my eyes too white, my teeth dull. “If I give you a slip of Latinum would you say something nice or be the least bit helpful?”, He nodded. I pulled the slip from my pocket and placed it in his palm.

“You have the lobes for negotiation, though no one would know that from looking at you.”

“For a bar I’ll answer any question you have.”

“How about a strip of Latinum for proof that this isn’t just a dream?”

“Can’t do this is a dream. But it doesn’t mean that you can’t profit from the encounter. When you’re end comes, I’d like to review your accounts before you meet the Blessed Exchequer.”

“The what… who?”

“Did you learn nothing of the afterlife before you got you were accepted to trade on the exchange?”

“For a slip I’ll answer that.”

“Hahaha…hehe no need.”

“What could you sell me for a bar?” It was a dream, I’d already lost ten percent of my wealth so far. “Could you sell me favor at the Dabo table? A blessing to detect when a Ferengi is lying? Protection from the phaser fire? Do you have any supernatural prowess you would trade me for a bar of Latinum?”

His eyes were wide the entire time I talked and he leaned in from his gilded throne, as I went on about the kind of powers I expected the First Nagus to posess, even in dreams.

“My not since Keldar, the wise and short of reign, has a someone tried to bargain directly with me. Haha, man I do miss the back and forth of two equals coming to a profitable compromise for both. Let me tell you what I can sell you for a measly bar’s worth of Latinum. I’ll whisper your name and visage into the ears of every grown Ferengi in good standing with the FTC. They will know or ask you for your license and treat you as if you had the good looks of yours truly. Tell me is it a deal?”

“I’d prefer a contract.”

“My word is my bond” he held his hand across his heart. Acting quite offended.

“Still Rule 17 clearly states…”

In unison, him in a mocking tone being the one who wrote it and me in restless obstinance

“…a contract is a contract is a contract… but only with a Ferengi. “

After I signed the ethereal contract and Gint stamped his face on it, I woke. Before my first cup of morning brew, I made sure to count my Latinum from the last night. Yes I had lost three bars, and was a couple of slips short. I’ll have to be more careful around Sall’s nimble fingers. When putting my bars back into my personal vault, that’s when I noticed it, one of my bars was light. Not just light but completely drained of Latinum, what should have been heavy was as light as an empty glass.

That’s when I started to dig deep into the theology of Profit. After all not only had I meet with Gint, but I had made a bargain. I didn’t need to act on faith that the Ferengi afterlife was real, I knew someday I would meet with Gint again and then the Blessed Exchequer, before bidding on a new life…

Here’s what I learned about the virtues of profit, to my surprise and yours, you’ll find that the Ferengi are lyings, cheats, and swindlers but you’ll learn why, just as I did, why that’s a good thing.

Marketing Strategy for the 501st

“The Rise of Galactic Republic and the Fall of u/thibson34”

This is a not tale the mods woulds tell you. Over on Reddit, there was a peaceful sub dedicated to the defense of their childhood nostalgia. When the Star Wars prequels came out, they were meet with out rage from any fan above the age of 15. But the children loved it. Those children are now approaching 30 and finishing college.

They forged a safe space from the OT fandom over on r/prequelmemes. Where they could discuss the biblical imagery of Ewan Mcgregor’s heavenly beard, or detail the evidence of behind the Darth Binks conspiracy. Through the years the subreddit has grown close to 2 million members.

Not only is it a fairly active reddit community but they follow orders well. At the start of June a user challenged their teacher if they could get 10,000 signatures to switch the final movie from Romeo and Juliet to Revenge of the Sith. Well just one post to r/Prequelmemes later and over 20,000 signatures were deployed.

[Man I wish the Star Trek subs had this level of fandom. But Trekkies are a different sort]

I don’t participate much in fandoms or communities. I barely enjoy my company, I also have friends irl whose ears I can bend. But I get it, they bring people together and more often than not the fans just want to spend a few more minutes soaking in the community and nostalgia.

One tip I hear often in my marketing research regarding art is to do fanarts. With the hope that you’ll get a lot of exposure. While the gains are remarkably low, they are gains none the less. I’ve heard this in regards to writing as well but more for finding a solid community as your not going to convert your Ghostbusters fan-fic to your original amazon release. The numbers are just too low.

Now I’m not a great artist, I’ve only been at it less than a year. And with my amount of focus at my disposal it’ll be at least five or six til I’m past 5 on the dunning-kruger scale.

But I could replicate u/thibson34 strategy with ease.

I can’t say if marketing was his intent but it’s what u/thibson34 did. Sometime in February they became a General Grievous project where each day they would add a unique light-saber and arm to General Grievous. I only browse reddit by best and so anything from prequelmemes that is under 1k up-votes doesn’t show up. So for the first month I knew nothing of u/thibson34’s efforts. But soon his efforts started paying off and he made it to the front page of the sub repeatedly getting top post for the day. The final form was 66, a significant number for the fandom.

Apparently u/thibson34 didn’t like the official discord for reasons unknown and began to promote his own discord. Which has 6K members almost 5 active at time of writing. But it was his ban from from the subreddit that lead to such growth. For over a week the sub has discussed nothing but the banning of u/thibson34. Banned of course for promoting a personal discord. Which has lead to the explosion of the discord’s pop.

In marketing the best thing someone can do is talk good about your product.

The second best thing they can do is talk bad about your product.

The worst thing they can do not talk about your product.

U/thibson34 has successfully converted 10% of the active users from the fandom to his discord. If he had a product he’d probably get sales with a floor of 500 and a cap of 2 thousand.

So to simplify this strategy for fandom acquisition

Step 1: pick a fandom

Step 2: prepare for a daily release for that fandom

Step 3: release daily, hang around for discussions and talks

Step 4: start putting CTA after the fandom has signed on and you are nearing your end.

(CTA like follow my twitter, IG, join discord, FB group etc.)

Step 5: create drama for drama’s sake. Drama Llama

If you remember the forgotten month of may 2020, you might remember a Sailor Moon redraw challenge to celebrate the 25 anniversary of our favorite sailor scout. Which drew thousands of artists from amateur to pro. Rather hard to stand out in a crowd like that. Much less convert any CTAs.

But what if you had 7 redraws, and labeled them 1 of 7, 2 of 7 etc. Now your twitter and Deviant-Art will convert followers to see the rest of the your series. People love collections.

Yes they came for the fandom but they sign up for the promise of 7 of 7. And now when you start advertising your original content, you’ll have an audience already. It’s not what they signed up for but it’s free real estate and it might convert better than screaming into the dark.

With Love,

HngyHngyHppo

Hope you all have been well…

Achievement

According to the devils dictionary

Achievement, n. The death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.

This hits me hard.

I have achieved enough. I could if I wanted to rest on my laurels. But I am disgusted by all that I have achieved.

Here’s a quick tally.

I have been award a PUC, 2 NAMs, submarine warfare, and a 2nd class mechanic

I have finished and publish 3 novellas

I earned 100 tiktok followers in less than two weeks

I have a wonderful wife

Financially I don’t need a dime from my online endeavors

and yet none of this will stop

that feeling of disgust

I could achieve even more

but that would only make that feeling worse

I could gain 100 blog followers but that is unlikely

this blog is for me and catharsis

I know the metrics though

I will have 100 blog followers when I have 10k youtube subs

I need a 10k youtube subs so that I can get reliably

1k book sales

I need 1k books sales so that I can grow my pulp project.

But the taste of disgust is still in my mouth regarding my YT content.

I don’t like it

It’s not good

and what’s worse

It’s not something I want to do

It’s something I know I need to do

as that is what is keeping my from my mission of raising young men’s literacy

and portraying a more accurate view of the world through pulp fiction

I’ll figure that out

but not today

soon I hope

but not today

then after that endeavor

I’ll figure out how to live with that disgust as well.

With love,

Hngyhngyhppo

Every Blessing a Curse

Every Blessing is a Curse

Whether on it’s face such as the touch of Midas. Blessed with eternal fortune, cursed with the isolation that touch creates.

My wife is watching Memories of Alhambra.

And if I were still ignorant

I would enjoy it.

But I have been blessed with a thirst for knowledge

So then within the first five minutes, I’ve written of the Show’s director. Whose craft actually improves as the episodes progress, but he made a terrible first impression.

“Why oh Why didn’t I take the blue pill.”

Not that I would if I could go back.

But How different would my enjoyment be spending time with my wife enjoying a show with her, instead of reading a book or article at the edge of the couch while she follows the story.

A year ago I didn’t know anything about score composition

Color washes,

Framing,

The three ways to film a chase scene,

and another half dozen aspects of filmography

and screen writing

and post production

that this show violates, ignores, or uses to incorrect effect

I’ve made peace with my own curse.

But tonight my mind wanders to think of the greater implications of just how high the bar is being raised.

Everyday there is another 500,000 hours of video upload to YouTube. That is a lifespan of 57 years to just watch one day’s worth of uploads, if you didn’t sleep from cradle to grave.

A hundred years ago, people gathered for miles to watch performers sit on a pole for a day straight.

The bar for what even qualifies as “Bad” and worth discussing is so high, everything that rates under 9 out of 10 is not even worth the breath to dismiss it.

Since 2018 I’ve watched YouTube at 2x, wishing it had 2.5x

meaning that over my 3-5 hours of passive YouTube courses I’m sitting through 6-10 hours of content.

I think this only puts me slightly ahead enough to see that the bar is so incredibly high.

How are we to create

whether of word

4,500+ books a day

whether of art

DeviantArt Alone

65,000

or of video

There are no more key holders standing between creators and the presses that carry their work to the masses.

But now the curse is to stand out as a drop of water from inside the ocean herself.

I hope you like me are spurred on by this

for now you know

just how good you have to be to even be worth

“Trash Talk.”

With Love,

HngyHngyHppo

How could you know? She asks

That is the problem with hindsight it is 20/20


2007 I got three friends together to start making YouTube videos, web comics, and film full length features. Politics and poor management from myself and a host of reason that venture only lasted 3 months before complete collapse.


2016 my wife and I tried to start a food truck. But it didnt work out. I’m confident now that would be different. As the principle reason was the initial finance barrier from square one to open day.

I’ve learned better habits in 2017-18 and we cant start another Becuase we know how much initial capital we need to get out of the box so to speak. I thought in 2016 sweat equity would have been enough, but actually I needed to learn the lessons that year taught along with the following years.


I published my first book in 2018, which was terrible. But my third was published last April and it is decent definitely a 7 out of 10. But while I should have been cultivating an audience since 2018, Becuase of all the other skills I need to grow and keep an author platform.


Had I even just dipped my toe in just a little, I would have discovered the fact that it takes 3 to 5 years to build a stable online presence. 


I knew how long it would take to get my writing to a position I needed it to be offering an acceptable product. And while no one has come out of the woodwork yet and revitalized pulp fiction. Honesty that be a good thing as then I could be second to a fresh market. I dont think anyone is going to create this market for me.


So I have to create it myself.


But No I did not at the time know what might happen. Youtube might over the course of three years become the largest platform making millionaires out of a vast swath of its early creators who were there growing before the Ads.


Web comics from 2008 to 2012 lead to PAX and now in 2020 online comics survive on tips, instead of the hundreds of thousands of adsense their websites generated before mobile social apps of 2013 which demonitized the industry.


This year not withstanding food trucks that complete the festival circuit make profits in the mid 200k from March to Aug.


Of course the likely outcome is always failure. That’s how bussiness works, but except for the food truck which we could either continue pursuing or move out of my friends basement and start paying rent. The venture has always failed not because of finances but becuase of me. Decisions I made. Knowledge I did not at the time possess, which you may say “how could I have known” and to which the reply is “it was my responsibly to know” 


Sorry if this is ranty, today was not good emotionally.


I launched a video last night and soon after I woke up I saw that it was getting a 10% click through (meaning of the hundred people youtube recommended the video to 11 people clicked on it) which is very good. But I had to pull the video down becuase viewers where immediately within the first minute of the 6 minute video clicking away.I need to fix this video, I never should have put it up in that state. I’m feeling guilty becuase a 10% click through is great news and I should be happy. But now I have a benchmark of success which is unrealistic. 


Instead of doing the 2 hours of fixing the video, I took it down. And took a nap sleeping away the day. Then beat myself up since I didnt get any of the other things done I wanted to do.


If I were a robot id be fine and productive but I lost a whole day. Not the first and not the last. Tommorrow I have plans to be better prepared and if the gyms were open I could have eased my anxiety and depression by pedaling away for a hour or two.


I know what band of talent, skill, and education I operate in and if I can keep myself emotionally balanced I will achieve greatness. But that day has not come and since my motivation is not striving for success but rather running from the past versions of myself as a failure. I keep in mind constantly what is the Oppurtunity cost of X.


In my case its millions. Millions of dollars I could have been using to better the treatment of artists, the furthering of my personal mission of raising young men’s literacy and comprehension. The ability to service not just the entertainment needs of people but their educational needs as well.


So much of my entertainment has given my a fake perception of how the world functions and that has lead to mistakes of judgement. 

With love,

Hngyhngyhppo