Category: Uncategorized

Georgism revisisted

Posted on by @HppoTweeter in Dialogue, HppoThorns, Uncategorized

Big L walked into work, head buried in his phone. George sat on his stool stooped over the counter. They worked at a small authentic bait shop and boat repair that George’s father passed down to him. Big L wore a scowl, George knew this was going to be the start of another argument based off of Big L’s principles and his news feed that fed him rage every Wednesday. Turns out Mike switched the tuning settings so that every Wednesday Big L would be fed anger inducing content and stories. Personal control of the algorithm’s recommendations was part of an EU law and just like every digital EU law it meant it was practically American as well.

Big L “I thought this was the land of the free.” said as he put his phone away. 

“Freest land we got.” George switched the toothpick he was smoking from one side to the other.

“Then how come the government can come round and steal a man’s land right from under him.”

“They can’t legally, you know, he has to be paid.”

“Here, let me take the shirt off your back and toss you a dollar. Still a theft.”

“Alright, what news has got you this riled up today L ?”

Big L sent the link to George who read over the article, and a few commenter blogs. While Big L clocked and made his first round, checking on last night’s deliveries. “Ah, I see. You’ve mistaken the land of the free for a land with free rent.”

“Huh, Look at the guy in the article. Ted, he owns that house and he doesn’t want to sell. He shouldn’t be forced to do something he doesn’t want to do.” 

“In an ideal world, yeah he wouldn’t be forced to do anything. But Ted here isn’t being forced off his land, he is refusing to sell for 300% above market rate and trying to get people to donate to pay off his new tax bill.”

“I read that article and it didn’t say anything about him refusing to sell.”

“Didn’t they teach civics in school?”

“Yeah, after we memorized the 65 states and what the vice-president’s star signs were.”

“The article doesn’t need to say that Teddy here is refusing to sell his land to a buyer because that’s the only way that the Government can take his land. Whenever a buyer wants land someone else has they have to pay that person and pay the local government taxes for a period of years. Let’s say I find out my neighbor has a diamond mine under their property and I have the money to hire crews to come and mine it but my neighbor doesn’t want to sell it to me. I’d go down to city hall to see what if any taxes they are paying on that property and make both them and the city an offer. If I can convince the mayor or his tax collector that I can pay more in taxes and I’ll buy the land from my neighbor, then the government will go to my neighbor and let them know look George here would like your land and is offering you this much money and he is willing to pay us this much in taxes. My neighbor could go, alright I’ll pay that much in taxes and tell George to fuck off. That’s roughly the way the system works. Teddy here could buy a yacht with how much money he is turning down.”

“You think there is a diamond mine under Ted’s house?”

“I think you don’t just offer someone three times the value of their house for no good reason. And you don’t turn it down. Remember when you offered me a buck for my shirt, Well I bet if I offered you a 100 you’d walk around in just your overalls and boots for the day.”

“Fair point. Something bugs me about this. Like you can’t actually own your own home. What about property rights?”

“Property rights are a fancy way of saying, government backed ownership. If the government wanted all the land and to take your rights, you got two options: get rid of the government or give up what the government wanted.”

“So I could buy out this store and shop from you, and the government would kick you out?”

“Not with what I pay you. But if you win the powerball, sure.”

“You’d be happy about that?”

“I’d have a lot more money, probably consider it a wash. Maybe I’ll retire.”

Response to TaX the Rich

Posted on by @HppoTweeter in Uncategorized

The following its a Response and breakdown of

Gary Stevenson latest video

0:52 why is that when you give money to rich people it doesn’t lead to investment?

1:00 when a rich person invests it doesn’t necessarily lead to the production of new productive capacity

1:20 when you want to create new investments to create new productive capacity …

  1. you need someone to fund that investment (this is the role of capital)
  2. you also need profit investments to exist
    1. to make a productive investment you need a customer

3:53 the impoverishment of the middle class has lead to lack of customers

(the middle class does not have enough capital to warrant investment in products and services that cater to them)

evidenced by the parts of the economy that have grown luxury services for the rich

4:57 A capitalist economy is very flexible, it will provide stuff to the people who have money (aka capital, AKA fiat)

5:30 Mr. beast as an example what investments should be directed at, poor communities that don’t have access to medical or other essential services, due to their lack of capital

(it is not profitable for investments to meet the needs of the poor because they are poor)

6:23 you need to deal with the distribution

If you don’t change the distribution then all of that new investment will be luxury

7:13 there is a fundamental imbalance of power and resources, you are in a competition with the rich for resources

Thesis statement the ONLY WAY to solve this problem of distribution is to tax the rich

There is another way and this to solve the problem not of total distribution but to solve the problem of initial distribution. With an Inflation Based UBI of 2.5%, meaning that Adult citizens receive periodic payments in that nations sovereign fiat currency to total amount of which is an annual increase of 2.5% of the nations total monetary supply.

This program does not require or care about a nations GDP, CPI, or an metric other than a nation’s total monetary supply. The amount will increase as the nations monetary supply increases.

It would provide all the tangible benefits that have been observed in pilot program, information of which can be found at https://www.scottsantens.com/ the leading expert in UBI, who unfortunately believes that violent based redistribution is the best method of funding UBI.

Inflation Based UBI solves all the problems outlined by Gary Stevinson in regards to incentive structures, by creating a customer base worth catering to. No one want to build new apartments for a town that relies on the operation of a single Tesla factory, what if the factory shuts down before profits can be made?

Why doesn’t Tax the Rich ultimately work as a method of redistribution?

Well just look at history, there are general cycles where wealth becomes too concentrated and the fundamental incentive structures break down and fail to provide for increases in general population desires and quality of life.

But ultimately is that besides the rich spending their resources on Luxury and Assets, they also spend them on the access and acquisition of more political power and influence. Warlords spend money to raise bigger armies and ultimately in a bid to acquire more resources. Financial Investors (BlackRock) spend their money to Acquire more shares ultimately gaining access over the direction of companies, which provides them with more power over corporate PACs and business lobbies. Banks will seek to position former employees, family members of employees, in government and in reverse offer highly compensated positions to former politicians or regulators, in order to increase their power and influence over the bodies that regulate them. (https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/xkiiog/this_moment_from_the_house_committee_on_financial/)

Power will seek to consolidate and increase itself, over and over.

An Inflation Based UBI does not solve for this motivation. What it does solve for is the fundamental problem of capitalism

That Capitalism only caters to the demands of Capital.

By providing regular payments of cash directly to individual adult citizens without a work requirement. Everyone can have access to their “fair share” without the need for taxation, which is theft enforced by the only monopoly a government has and that is violence.

Without violence and Without taxation

Inflation Based UBI

leave a comment and let’s discuss

To the Georgist Revival,

Posted on by @HppoTweeter in Uncategorized

No

My issue lies not with the immutable fact that all wealth is derived from physical property, for the rest is a thot upon your head. No, no no my issue with a land value tax is that until land value can accurately be assessed by market powers, it remains a levy of violence for which central authorities will, can, and are incentivized to abuse.

Opening all land up to the market as to determine it’s taxable value is the only way to decentralize assessment.

Example

Jake owns an apple orchard next to Jon’s wheat farm. Both are of equal size and the value of each has been determined equal. Jake has been making a killing selling apples and has a supreme profit, if he wished to expand his land he would need to purchase a third of Jon’s, the third bordering his property. Jon refuses to sell. That’s the end of it, for whatever reason Jon has decided that the production and potential supply of apples will be limited. Jon is sovereign over his farm and the choices made therein, it is his right.

But it is not a natural right bestowed by god that man should possess anything. Georgist acknowledge that Jon’s land belongs to the community and his participation in such community is not wholly a voluntary agreement. He supplies wheat and collects fiat to pay his tax bill, least he lose his farm to the violence of the state. But it is his right to deny Jake’s dreams of expansion. It is his right to deny balance between the supply and demand curve, by producing more wheat than the market optimally demands and denying it from a greater supply of apples.

Jon could petition the local governance and state that he is willing to purchase the portion of land for X dollars and as a result the governance can rely on Y increase in taxation. Jake could agree that he should now pay Y in taxes and if and when he fails to meet that tax rate upon the third he wishes to keep, then the sale will begin. Jake will receive X minus owed taxes and Jon will receive the land and be obligated to pay Y for a minimum time agreed upon by Jake. If Jon fails to make a payment then the land will be offered for repurchase by Jon at whatever rate Jon initially paid for it. Effectively resetting the tax rate of the land. The Governance body’s only position here is not to determine how much funds they need based on their quarterly salaries or what the value of the land is. The market has decided that the land is worth whatever someone will pay for it, not just in the sale but as a taxation burden upon the individual making the purchase.

I suspect that Georgism is seeing a revival because it does not conflict with the wealth holders of IP or trademark. The companies that can open a new factory halfway across the world to spend in fuel and logistics, just to save from taxation burden. Wealth is derived from the land; ores, veggies, and solar power have spatial requirements and produce wealth when extracted or cultivated. But which of these three are most valuable for the society, the free market will let you know who should steward this land for if they do no turn a profit and pay their tax than the land should not have the force of violence known by the label private property attached.

Limerence

Posted on by @HppoTweeter in Uncategorized

Black fades back.

The stone walls of the sacrifice room were lit only by a single red ritual candle. Amy could see with her new eyes as though it was bright as day from that single candles flicker. The glow from where the flame met the red wax hide which stones were covered in Josh’s burnt flesh and charred blood. The stone bricks and support beam overhead were lit by the the yellow of the flames tip, looks more Carrey and less Pollock she thought certainly intentional. A hunk of flesh splattered to her right as she approached the spot Josh summoned … well her new master. Speaking to the void his body stood moments ago. “And I thought we were going to spend the rest of my youth together. I was even going to give you a child or two. Now I guess I should thank you. I will be forever young and without want thanks to the introduction you’ve made for me tonight. Thank you, Josh,” Amy tilted her head at the last whole piece of Josh “Doll, what’s this?”

“Oh doll, it seems as though you’ve misplaced your heart as well.” Amy bent over at the hips, a perfect right angle, her new hair touched the stones before she grabbed Josh’s heart by the tips of her four inch stiletto like obsidian black nails. Her expression of childlike wonder as though looking upon a brightly colored raspberry ball of cotton candy. Her tongue moistened with the thought a taste at the last bit of love contained inside.

When her master said she would never be in want of food again and laughed was this is what he meant. The devil. She thought It wouldn’t be that easy being a dark one. Josh’s heart pulsed a weak beat with nothing to pump it was just a twitch. She should have been startled but her new body wasn’t fazed. Raising the heart to her lips she gave a quick sniff. Her master’s scent was faint but his magic and blood was all over Josh’s weak beating heart. Well I guess I’m not the only immortal he made tonight. Oh doll, we will be together forever now.

Upon exiting the sacrificial chamber, she eyed the shelves for the perfect container for her handheld immortal companion. Jars cliche, what am I suppose to keep it on my night stand. A wicker basket, ho but for the curious that’d be hard to explain, and while my skin is now red I won’t be on my way to grandma’s house soon. Doll’s that’ll be perfect. “Perfect, let’s find you a new body love.”

After much debate she decided upon a faded white patchwork doll wearing a suit. “Oh you will look so cute, my little executive Josh. Don’t worry about going to the office, I’ll be making the money around here. Your only job is to look at me with those big black orbs and let me see how beautiful and sexy I am in your eyes.”

Amy unbutton the top two buttons of the doll’s three button blazer but with her nails so long she couldn’t get a solid grip with the sides of her fingers. She grew angry with the length of her nails and they retreated from her stare back into her fresh blood red fingers. Neat. With the coat open she popped the stitches in the dolls chest and pulled out some of the fluff tossing it aside in disgust as though it’s texture was slime on he fingers. Josh’s heart continued to beat faintly pressed between her hand the doll’s chest. Was he gaining strength or was he excited with the idea of having a body?

“Pardon me miss, may I borrow this?” Amy spoke to another doll who had thread needles jammed over her felt eyes. Removing the needle caused the felt eye to fall on the floor. “Thank you.” She closed Josh’s open wound, fluff still leaking out. She buttoned up his coat and grabbed him by the tie as though it was a rope.

“Well I really only like the idea of having you. And now I’ll have you forever and without you leaving, lying, or just ruining it with your words… oh doll, you’ll be my favorite. Shame you thought you could have been the first. Let’s go doll.” Amy slung him over her shoulder “We are going to raise hell and bring our master’s paradise to earth.”

Amy’s hips swished wide with each step. Her new patchwork friend bouncing as any small sling bag would, held tight over her shoulder by it’s silk black tie. Joshua didn’t need to draw breath anymore, but the tie against his new throat still gave him the sensation of choking.

This has been a submission for “The Companion” prompt under the category of flash fiction. https://ironage.media/prompt/the-companion.html

Motivational Misquotes

Posted on by @HppoTweeter in Uncategorized

I have a beef to pick with these types of quotes.

They feel good… yeah well so does heroine Janet. But man is the withdrawal a Bitch.

Section 1: why this is wrong

Section 2: how to apply deliberate thought whenever you pass these thought traps in the future.

Section 1:

Sentence ONE is using a grounding method. Something that you will agree with as it is something universally experienced.

There will be times in life when no matter what you do for some people it will never be good enough.

Yeah that checks out that will happen sometimes. Okay now that you AGREE, and are in a bad head space. I bet you remembered when that last time that hurt was. It’s okay you know some people give others take, you are allowed to feel like you should have gotten more.

Sentence TWO is our affirmation. This is the thought we want you to have. Make you strong and it is easy to agree with. The fault is with the other. Motivational quote has your back. You go girl!

Do not change who you are just to seek for someone’s acceptance and approval.

What nonsense is this? Well then why should I change myself? Should I be after my own approval?

What if I really really feel compelled to receive this persons attention, acceptance, approval, endorsement? What if they are my boss and I need to pay rent so my child isn’t homeless? Maybe I could become a morning person for work?

Sentence THREE is affirming our affirmation

Always stay true to you.

Because that can’t be false it lends false credibility to the shit advice in the middle of this sammich.

1 true 2 nonsense 3 true

How can you not be true to yourself. You are always you? If you lie to yourself well I guess you are good at practicing self deception, is that not still you?

Now if this line read

Always be your best self

That’s a whole other concept, that is something you should strive to be. Whether your ideal is strength, kindness, or talented. That self would take work… we don’t want that.

Sentence FOUR is the consequence, if you don’t do this or you fail at this you will suffer

Those who truly love and respect you will always be by your side.

If you feel alone, Well I guess no one truly loves or respects you… what else could be the answer.

If you have only one or two people you count as close, you can go ahead and close yourself off from others outside your circle since if they truly loved and respected you they would be by your side.

If you betray your true self of course you can suspect those around you to betray you as well.

Gee thanks

Successful Relationship Advice

Now that I am depressed and sad, and I think that you are the authority on successful relationships I guess I will buy your oils or take your webinar, and if that system you sell doesn’t work it must be because I didn’t try hard enough. I am a failure, maybe I need another batch and another course or a personal coach.

Section 2

Test 1: Does this advice work for a narcissistic asshole or a drug addict?

If yes, then it is bad or non advice

Test 2: Can this be tested?

If no, then it is bad or non advice

Test 3: Does this make me want to stop scrolling and act upon the message?

If no, then I am going to forget it

Test 4: Is this true in all aspects?

Well no, there may be bad habits or attitudes or changes that I may need to make to gain someone else’s approval.

“Infestation”

Posted on by @HppoTweeter in Uncategorized

Day 1 (Morning)

Hey J,

It’s Day 1 again for the thousandth time, last night she punched through the black again. A gorgeous out of focus memory. I go for a hug or to go with her, but she presses my head and keeps me at arms length. Dressed like an angel, bathed in light as she left me to cry. I taste the salt and smell her perfume and coconut shave cream. 42(45) years old, bench 220, certified iron man, trophies mounted in the den, venison and bear in the drop down, I am a man GOD DAMMIT. Not that helpless child. I have the next two weeks off, just on more day…

(Evening)

…Janet is the biggest bitch ever, not just because she is 400 pounds and has bent all the steel chairs in the break room. I just needed to make it through the day. I did, things might be tense after this cleanse and my return but at least this time I got a job to go back to and not a foreman with a black eye. I hadn’t noticed that my arm was still bleeding from when that ho fell on me. Bri pointed out the red on my blue flannel, I thought it wasn’t that deep but then again I don’t think straight and that being the point is why Day 1 comes again. I would be out cold having finished Jeopardy, J they replaced that rainbow guy for the human calculator how long was his streak anyways. Better get to sweating if I am to get some sleep before I drive out tomorrow.

Feeling good and strong now, time to fight those demons.

Day 2(Morning)

Hey J,

It’s Day 2. Last night was the Pakistani. He wasn’t even my first confirmed. I pulled the trigger, he had a gun. Jacoby said that the sweep came up and that his weapon wasn’t even loaded. I guess they made me feel like a tool for that one. Did he not know? Was he set up by his “brothers”? Something in his eyes reminds me of Bri, trust I’ll call it that for now. I’m taking set 2 to McGoggin’s cabin this time. 30 days rations 😉 Janice, Johnathan, Justice, vis gear, tree tent, flares classic and glow, 9 hours of Bowie’s 2018 release LOVING THE ALIEN, crank battery charger, 200 cash, standard sealed first aid kit, a duo pack of cards, and a sealed first aid kit.

(Evening)

After cleaning up the needles and boarding up the window, McGoggin’s cabin looks almost respectable again. Best thing about the solid wood furniture is that applying resin coats was easier than cleaning blood and vomit from the cushions and rugs he kept during Kimberly or was it Candice. I heard her name like twice and after once he called them all “that cunt” anyways. It was an 8 mile hike to the cabin and a 6 hour drive. Now that the place is patched up and the bed sheets changed out. I’ll burn the soiled ones tomorrow.

Day 3(Morning)

Should I be happy the faces have gotten fewer, last night it was the girls from my days with REDWATER. I think I am okay with this small guilt of not having more from my official days of service. I should feel bad and I do, but if this cleanse is just going to the greatest hits that’s okay too. I know J, I am suppose to express the horrors of the dreams and “process” these feelings. But when it comes to the love hostel raid of those REDWATER demons, I am okay with carrying their guilt. Someone should feel bad for the what happened that day. I know those assholes won’t, after all do demons even suffer in hell?

(Afternoon)

Perimeter sweep complete. There is a new gravel road about a half mile from the north border, leading to a wealthy cul-de-sac, Righlty’s Realtor, etched in a granite slab. 5 modern McMansions where the walls are glass except for the sleeping areas on the top and bottom floor. Imagine buying a car you never drive or a view you visit twice a year. Hey maybe they are timeshares J. A quick way to turn a few mil into another dozen. “Each is own.” I know, but fuck wouldn’t there be more to go around if their was more like me who get to the top, stop, and coast. I know there are things I can’t afford like a private jet or a yacht, but I have enough pooled from my dividend that I could take any dam flight or cruise I desire.

Southeast lake looks like carpet clearing, almost full coverage of algae, glad I came out for a hunt and not a fishing trip.

Southwest is still charred from the fires two years ago, dead trees and a grave yard of ashes. I’ll be keeping that out of my sight line. No reason to invite an environmental horror into my PTSDreams.

(Evening)

Logs cut and sheets burned. Some chores shouldn’t be so satisfying, why ever did men leave the woods and settle on cities. Some say women, others say wolves, I bet the college crop says capitalists starved them out. How though, there is food in every bush and fish in every pond.

Day 4(Morning)

REDWATER, Cocaine, Full Sweep, 35 confirmed, 90 fired. 20 armed, 12 under fifteen, screams from those burning in the work house. “We could be heroes, We could be heroes, Just for one day we could beat them” If I could steal time I wouldn’t take back that day. We did some good there, I just wish upon a djinn that I could have done it better. If I had spoke up or had more sway I could have spoken up for a full hostile sweep rather than a full sweep. I could have made the difference, But for that fucking scared child. He is a coward and can’t speak up for what he should. That one is on him. Those screams are for him to suffer.

(Afternoon)

Janice caught me a rabbit clean behind the back of the skull. Shit was ripe with strange ticks though. Yellow-grey carapaces, the length of earwigs and the width of a fat caterpillar. It’s puss smelled of sulfur and methane. I used two bags and hopefully the slurry still attract a coyote or two tomorrow.

My wound has finally closed and I don’t need to change wraps anymore.

Tonight will be the worst, I know it. Justice keeps offering peace, but I am confirmed and their isn’t any doubt what lies after I accept that offer.

(Evening)

I need to get with a dietitian again, I can feel my bones start to crack under the pull of my muscles. How am I to sleep if I can’t exhaust because I got older than I should.

Day 5(Morning)

WATERSTONE, EU, disposal. I did what I had to. Two hours in the bath until my nose started telling the truth about the lye being a dream. After the sun caught the rabbit slurry, that smell returned and had to scrub myself til those red splotches appeared. Vaselined Talcumed before I clothed up again, blessing be that the itching of my clothes keep Justice quiet.

(Afternoon)

At least those bugs didn’t chew through the plastic, and the gasses from their feast didn’t pop the bag either. My hide is set up just a mile from the lake, I found a clean apart that smelled fresh enough. Wild lavender and black berries not heavily picked. Now comes the waiting, well after I climb down and pop the bait. Never mind, J it’s just you and me the gases finally burst the seam. If everything keeps getting so shitty and expensive I will need three bags next time.

Best thing about live recordings is not feeling alone, while literally being alone. And maybe one day the cries of joy will blend with the screams of pain and I can get back to normal like person being.

I saw a fox but she saw me first.

(Evening)

Sun will be down in twenty, being on the edge all day is exhausting. If my haunts hold true though I’d rather not see them tonight. I heard yips 2 hours ago but they won’t refuse a snack if dusk wind blows just right.

(High Moon)

that rabbits nasty infection of tickwigs, headed out under the moon like a square foot of carpet yellow-grey carpet pulsing toward the lake. I watched them shiver blood and guts through Janice’s newest accessory.

Day 6 (Morning)

If the only thing I gained was a reprieve from that time, well last night wasn’t a loss. But had I been paying attention why those tickwigs left. I would have saw that they picked the bitch clean.

(Afternoon)

The lake was completely covered now, and the algae was choking itself losing color fast. If I can’t hunt, what else am I going to do with the time. 4 more days and I can medicate again. Every plan I ever had the world will conspire against it.

(Evening)

Spent the day on the beat trails, and as suspected there isn’t anything from deer or even wild hogs around. The fox watches me though, I left her a trail bar. Her nose is smart enough not to eat those berries containing tickwig maggots. If she was younger and less scarred, I could use the hide. But she has survived many battles and hardly has plume on her tail.

I’m here for the never satisfied hogs or the brutal coyotes, not some geriatric veteran fox.

Day 7(Morning)

WATERSTONE, under Florida, Triangle Job, I never felt so good for getting paid for this one. Never felt worse for losing my ignorance that true monsters walk around in human suits. I’d seen the targets at mass. I didn’t know it yet, why they were hit. Honestly I don’t know for sure whether it was cleaning up deviants or just a power play. I suspect the son of course, his gains where close to half a bill. But could have been any of a hundred reasons he upset the wrong person, something as simple as not showing “proper” respect during a banker’s dinner party. New money has no idea how fragile their fate’s thread is. What I did for those children was a mercy, and the fact their faces bring me a moment of peace during that nightmare. Why did the crew have to be so upset and haunt me? Did they not know? Is it possible they had no idea what their master was? Was the devil himself laughing at me knowing that maybe one day he would have all our souls. They died without last rites. They should be working it off in Purgatory not pissing off my sleep.

Sorry J, this isn’t much of a dialogue and process is it. Maybe next time.

Well I am off to pour 20 gallons of gas into the choke at the lake and bring back nature through a little dino blood magic.

////////

This has been an Iron Age media submission, Be sure to vote after October 19th 2023.

https://ironage.media/prompt/the-infestation.html

Getting an air job

Posted on by @HppoTweeter in Uncategorized

“I just don’t trust the man.”

“But he’s got that good suit.”

“What’s that got to say about if he is about what he says he’s about?”

“Well, he ain’t no carpet bagger is what I am getting at.”

“That’s what I don’t trust, he talks like he comes from a big city and that good schoolin.”

“He’d have to be educated to be a recruiter for Robertson.”

“Ah, I ain’t buying what he is selling.”

“Would you buy into me though?”

“500 dollars, that’s a big ask.”

“I got half. I just need some pitch to get me over the line.”

“What are you going to eat after your last cent is in that man’s pocket?”

“I’ll find a way to eat.”

“Where are you going to sleep? In the gutters camped out with the Hoovers.”

“Once I’m in the air it won’t matter where my home is. I’ll live hanger to hanger, save on room and board, and I could catch a duck right out the window for feasting.”

“You just don’t understand. You gonna fail, come back here or die in that city’s gutter.”

“If I want it bad enough I can do it.”

“Guess you didn’t want it bad enough, then right?”

“But I do.”

“But if you did you’d have the 500 that man needs. You wouldn’t have spent your dimes and dollars on pulps and picture books. You would have been working not laying in the fields looking at the sky.”

“That ain’t fair.”

“Life never was.”

“I just need your pitch and I’ll pay you back.”

“Look if I just gave you the rest and you bounce out to St. Louis, with no money, no plan, no friends. You’ll be dreaming in the gutter, still a lay about.”

“Fine, then let me rain on your dreams for a change. It must be pretty powerful if you can stomach all those summer days digging ditches and pulling Turnbulls estate free of weeds.”

“You know I break my back so Pa doesn’t break my hide. I dream of getting enough to get away, but rent in the city starts at 25 dollars a month. And wages without learning would cause me to bleed out after half a year. That’s why I got what I got, I got a plan and I’m making it happen.”

“I’ll pay your rent.”

“What?”

“Look you, give me the pitch, use the rest to bleed out and before you do. I will pay all the rent.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“You calling me a liar?”

“I didn’t call you a liar.”

“Well, then I must be a truther and truth is, even if I can start to split the rent. You get your nice own apartment. I get hot water and with a few shined shoes or papers out, we’d have hot meals.”

“Sweeten it.”

“Fine, after I’m a full fledged pilot. I’ll pay all the rent for you forever.”

“To sweet.”

“Catch though…”

“Awe course, well?”

“I get to stay with you whenever I’m in the city. Drop of a hat.”

“Fair, now one last condition.”

“If you fail and ain’t a pilot-” “-Can’t fail-” “If you fail and ain’t a pilot. You kill my father and Buster Turnbull.”

Posted on by @HppoTweeter in Uncategorized

“You can’t just kidnapped people Pawnse.”

“I didn’t kidnapped no one, no how, good sir.”

“Then why is there a lady bound and gagged to our good chair?”

“What?!”

Bishop reaches his hand to remove the gag, a pair of Pawnse’s under-breeches, from the lady’s mouth.

“Wait!” Bishop’s hand stops shy of the rag. “You need to threaten em first so as not to scream and alert the neighbors?”

Bishop’s colour fades, “What neighbors we are in the middle of Darkwood? Some werewolf going to come and turn us into the town guard. The three day ride from here guard?”

The bound lady mumbles something and the rag gets wet with her spit. Her words were not screams under the rag.

“Don’t speak unless you are spoken to. Understood?” Bishop wagged a finger. She nodded

“Wait shouldn’t we be wearing our hoods? So she can’t pick us out of a line-up.”

“Pawnse just let me get this dam rag out her mouth and we can find out who tied her up with your scaling rope and stuffed her mouth with your breeches?”

“Alright suit yourself, she’s out to get us though, clearly it’s a trap. She was probably drugged and left her so that we’d get pinched for kidnapping. Rook probably set the whole thing up so that he ain’t got to pay for the last job.”

“MUMBLES!”

“See Bishop she is getting impatient, bet she is in on it, probably was told to get the location of the easel out of us?”

“Well if she is trying to get information out of us. I’d say she is doing a dam fine job so far. Hap’s you ought to be the one gagged.”

“Don’t you dare threaten to stuff mine or your breeches in my mouth. That ain’t right.”

“Then why did you do such to her?”

“I didn’t, I swears.”

“Unless you let me untied her and remove this gag, we only have half the story. And all the evidence saying you kidnapped this bit and brought her straight to our kitchen.”

“Look, I know how it looks but I didn’t kidnap no one.”

“MUMBLES”

“Just admit you did and why?”

“I had the thought of kidnapping a seer to help us with the Bezeus problem. But that was just a thought. And maybe some sketches.”

“You can’t just kidnap a seer.”

“Okay I had a really good plan though.”

“MUMBLES – screaming and nodding”

“Wait are you a seer?”

she nods her head.

“Pawnse, you kidnapped a seer?”

“I did not. It was just a thought. Ain’t no thought crime.”

“Did my friend Pawnse napp you miss?”

she meets eyes with Pawnse then shakes her head no slowly

“She is framing me Bishop. This is a set-up, I didn’t even get the chance to kidnap her yet, so I’m an innocent.”

“Alright, miss Seer, I’ll be removing your mouth piece now. I know you know I’d knock a tooth loose if you give an ear splitter.”

“Thank you, Mr. Bishop.” She cleared her throat and spoke nervously at Pawnse “Did I do good?”

Pawnse rolled his eyes, with a harumph, turning his body away to watch the front door. He felt off about this whole thing.

“What is your name?”

“I am Typhany, or just Tiff for short. I am of the third order of Archmedious.”

“How did you end up here in out kitchen?”

“I was going to be kidnapped, by your friend, he was going to be successful but there were going to a few casualties, I’d rather not have on my soul.”

“See I told you it was a good plan.”

“That’s why I decided to give myself up, in exchange for their futures. I kidnapped myself.”

“You can’t kidnap a seer, Ha bet you feel the fool there Bishop.”

Ail-sha the Troll princess

Posted on by @HppoTweeter in Uncategorized

Nothing worse than an itch on your nose you can’t scratch… Why is that the focus of my mind? If only I had the wits to focus on my actual problems. Like the ropes digging burns into my wrists or the lose of feeling in my hands as I dangle, a solid meter off the ground, in the bridal tent.

Getting captured was part of my clever plan you see, losing my fingers was not something I foresaw though. I guess they didn’t need to bind my legs since the trolls and half trolls could catch up to a full sprint in less than a stride. With a short swing back and an explosive crunch, throwing my feet above my head. With my shoulders locking my chest above the chin, a good double kick and I had my feet around the tree used as a mid-tent pole.

The trolls had left the bark on, which made it very effect at it’s task releasing my from my current torture. Satisfaction of an itch scratched. I counted it among my blessings that the tree was of sap variety and was still fresh enough to not crumble at my nuzzling. Second blessing was the feeling returning to the tips of my fingers.

“Wat’cha doin’ der?” I couldn’t see who spoke, face full of log. A half-tongue though, clearly not a full troll.

“Just scratching my nose a bit.” I politely retorted. No need for poor manners, I am an honored guest after all.

“Silly grain-boy, I could have gotten that for you.”

“Then do me a spot and get at my right shoulder a bit.”

“Like thissss” Cracked, cold ivory pressed into the back of my shoulder. My guest drew tight circles along my shoulder creases. It burned a little as it chipped off chips of dried dirt and worked it’s uneven points into my muscle.

“Thank you, that’s quite good.”

“Isn’t it customary among you tiny things to repay such an act.”

“Scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours. That’s generally the deal. So I suppose,”! Six points pierced my right shoulder. All the relief turned white hot. My back cooled by my blood. Dropping back into a swing I pulled out chunks of bark with my knees, chunks of my knees as well.

“Now grain-boy. Bite me!”

There she was the fruit of my labor’s the troll chief’s daughter, Ail-sha. Half-elf, Half-troll. A thing grey beauty. All the strength of a full male Troll, and the grace of an Elf. Eight and Half feet tall she looked me in the eyes.

“I bite you… now you bite me.”

Her thumb and ring finger pinned back my ears. She squeezed the back of my head, Intense pressure built up in my temples as she forcefully buried my mouth into her neck. Thankfully I have sharp canines or she would have crushed my skull before I could draw blood. Dragging my teeth deeper down her neckline opening the bite as far as my bound state would let me.

Feeling her grip on my skull loosen, I hooked my legs around the bottom of her ribs. She wasn’t much wider than the roof post and at least I had tension off of my neck and shoulders.

She cooed as the warm air between us and the heat of her body turned her blood into steam. Under the wisps of my own panting I watched as the wound drew close, I had to take another bite.

stranger dangers and space rangers, Imposter syndrome X-cept legit

Posted on by @HppoTweeter in Uncategorized

I pissed myself. Straight up my shirt, morning wood.. ya know.

Okay so it was like this. You ever get that feeling that something just ain’t quiet right. You’re morning alarm is just a few minutes off. Like you’re totally awake, check your phone and your alarm isn’t due for another three minutes. It’s just that off feeling. Like some elves or goblins snuck into your house and moved all your furniture a quarter of an inch to the left. Like totally not enough that you’d stub your toe but just enough that you know it’s wrong.

I told myself “I’m just waking up don’t bother with it. Get to the bathroom. Crank down your dick and piss away the pain.”

Well, I leave the bedroom and there’s an ass hanging out my fridge. Dash those hopes, it was a man. I’m like totes in the middle of a morning burgle. I think I groaned or the floorboards groaned, I didn’t know if I’d be kicking out a crack head or what.

“Ah, I see you’re finally awake.” The dude said as he poped up out of the fridge, with the sub I bought for lunch.

I gave him the secret code. “Hello There?”

“Admiral Kenobi!”

No that’s not the weirdest part. Man my brain was melting, I tell ya, so. So he had my face and my body. Yeah like he got the code wrong memer, but he actually didn’t. Yes though as I was saying, He was me. Like a mirror or a clone, but fracker he was rude. So he wasn’t me.

Oh yeah, right!

So after he saw the look of horror on my face for getting the code wrong he drew a gun on me. My gun, He pointed. I would of grabbed my machete or dashed charged him and gouged out his eyes, maybe take a shot to my spare kidney but memer ya’know your boy no one fucks with ya boy. But, well, but, no memer I pissed myself straight up my nips. UGH!#! Black kraken pisses like a tar vinegar. I almost threw up. My throat clenched and my nuts tingled. I think I might have a thing for danger, IDK.

Well He explains this whole Admiral business, and um well He told me like he was me but not from this timeline and like I’m not from this timeline either. Shit, he was pretty clear that it was important and he went over it twice. I wouldn’t have, explained half the shit he did, so he totally wasn’t actually ya boy.

Oh fuck, I just realized your not my memer. I mean since I’m in a different timeline, I’m not even ya boy. I’m like ya boy. But I’m not like my rude space time cop. So I’m totes probably not like Your boy.

Fuck I’m like all alone, stranger dangers and space rangers,

I’m like pretending to be this places me, Imposter syndrome X-cept legit

Maybe we can be new friends ?!?

could I call you memer-2 or something though I couldn’t even keep my two high school friends Josh straight. Yeah likes one was gay but the other was a chick. Didn’t help know one they had the same taste in boyfriends either.

So memer+ friends?

you can call me MC(prime)