Pair bonding and peer bonding

This is a thought and therefore it is to be taken solely as opinion on the author at the time of writing. I reserve to be wrong and alter this thought at any point in the future or the past.

It’s been a frequent conjecture in the red pill sphere that a woman’s ability to form a lasting pair bond is diminished with the number of sexual partners.

But that a man’s ability to pair bond is unaffected by his count of sexual partners.

Whether a double standard or a biological difference.

I can not say nor do I much care.

These are conjectures based on the summaries of my observations.

It is my current belief that women practice both pair bonding and peer bonding.

While men either practice peer bonding or pair bonding.

Peer bonding isn’t discussed when men talk about a women’s ability to pair bond.

It is without a doubt a foreign concept to most men.

Most men do not form new lasting friendships past the age of 25. And so the opportunity to create new and lasting peer bonds among men is diminished. So it is simply not thought about.

Women however can and do form lasting peer bonds throughout their life.

It is my current thought that men either practice peer bonding or pair bonding,

Whereas women can practice both at the same time.

The men who focus on peer bonding tend to put

“Bro’s before Hoes”

They tend to be the HVM (high value male), as their concerns for social status and allows them to climb the corporate ladder as well as become the “lifted” Alpha male of their friend circle.

But these men rarely settle down and if they do they often step out.

As their emotional needs (or need of sexual validation) tends to be more than a single partner can provide.

Where as I see the average Delta and Bravo,

Able to settle down but their pair bond takes priority over their social status.

As well as their economic status.

The drive to climb either ladder seems diminished

as long as things are well at home.


Here are my observations of women,

I have seen girls with high partner counts settle down into lasting marriages

the difference

A first I thought it was religion….

But whether Born Again Christian, Mormon, Wiccan, or Agnostic

religions where the package but the truth was

that these provide ready and open peer groups for the women

women who’ve taken up a regular social hobby with other women of “good” moral character

I see the same shift in them as well.

She can be the atheist or satanist in a knitting circle but the reinforcement of values through a stable peer group is the difference.

I think that women fill the first two levels of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs with a strong pair bond but only half of the third tier.

The other half of the third tier of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs as well as the fourth tier is reserved for influences beyond the home.

Whereas men for the most part seek to fill the part two tiers from society and the top two tiers from pair bonding. Men don’t need to peer bond with their coworkers or even hold to religious tenets and practices to satisfy the first two tiers and in most cases the Delta can rest content upon the third tier of Maslow’s hierarchy while filling the need for esteem through self isolating hobbies (video games, model trains, stamp collecting)

If you think I’m wrong about this FIGHT ME!

Thanks for reading, I hope this was of value.

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I have a pattern of breaking myself

I just received a text from a fellow trying to leverage the courses his paid for to become a real estate investor. He’s been attempting to break free from the 9-5 life for almost a decade and he asked me a question.

“What I don’t understand, is why don’t we always do the things that are in our best interest, and none of the things that don’t serve us.”

-Future millionaire friend post the year of our lord 2019

The answer is simple… well simply complicated. This is a broad question and their are very specific answers for very specific patterns of behavior or unserving bad habits. Generalizations are not going to help here.

But that’s not what I wanted to talk about in the first place.

I first asked this when I was maybe thirteen. I thought at the time I was clever and I could figure it out. I was after all a smart boy, educationally bored and problems like this I could dwell on til I had an answer I deemed suitable.

First I made the question simpler

“Why am I doing things that I don’t 100% want to do because I know aspects of them are bad?”

Things like

Why am I teasing my friend for his failed attempt to draw ghastly? Why don’t I answer all the questions on the quiz? Why don’t I like eating vegetables? Why did I steal that thing? Why do I occasionally drop everything and focus everything on one specific aspect of a task like an annual retentive accountant? Why am I thinking dirty thoughts instead of focusing the math homework?

What I understood then was that each of these things that I was doing was in service to a need that I had but not all my needs as a person. Stealing got me the object of my desire but left me with guilt becuase god says it’s wrong so now I feel bad. Bee tea dubs stealing is wrong unless its inspiration or art or method.

So this is when I broke myself apart to figure out why half of me could be fore something and half could be against it. Or in some cases how twenty percent could take control and do it anyways.

I took the general motivations I as best as I understood them and created a council room within my mind for them to meet and discuss the business of life. I sit as always at the head to my left sits the first chair but all chairs are equal. (This bugs me that even as a child with no knowledge of military seating etiquette. I managed to solve the problem of having a rectangular board room table but distance from the head of the table did not create an implicit rank between the board members. By leaving the chair on my right side empty for guests every member present was equally separated and not therefore equal in voice, votes, and authority though a standard meeting starts from left and ends on the empty or guest chair.)

Well, the first chair sits myself in a leather jacket, long rebellious hair, and a quite curt demeanor. He is in change with aspects of myself that pertain to image, social influence, status, reputation. Basically the Fonz of my brain letting me know how a given course of action will affect me socially. The public relations officer if you will.

Then to his left sits myself rather thinner wearing glasses, a lab coat, a short unkempt but regularly trimmed haircut. His role is to simply tell me the odds of success, cost benefit analysis, and general inquiries needed to raise the quality of data available for future decisions or more accurate predictions. This is the head of my R&D division.

To his left, and at the tail of the table, sits myself bearded in robes with a funny hat and fluctuating religious adornments. Sometimes deacon-like color schemes or wearing a Buddhistic piety cut. His appearance is never static. His role is guide me morally, ethically, and righteously through life as any spiritual advisor would. His arguments come largely from christian teachings but he will incorporate all other available religious teachings as well. Unfortunate Corporations don’t have souls and therefore moral guidance does not have a seat or position within a company’s board room. So there is no corporate equivalent job title but as far as a military command he would literally by the Chaplin.

To his left, now ascending the right hand side of the table. Sits myself in full military regalia, a five star general, military fade cut weekly, the most muscular build of myself, as well as the rudest. He speaks for authority, discipline, and how to concisely achieve victory. The chief of operations or COO would be the corporate equivalent. General Order is about stratagem, resources, and whether or not a course of action is lawful.

To his left is my penis, an unimaginative representation of myself wearing a mushroom capped flesh toned German M35 steel helmet. Yeah I was going through puberty at the time and providing representation to the hormonal screams of my body was and still is important. Otherwise ignoring his thought process leads to unexpected outcomes when shareholders vote over a given course of action. Because he is a strong shareholder within the boardroom of my brain. Suffice it to say his advice will often be “Fuck it!” or “Fuck it hard!” or “Fuck it gently.” or the classic “I don’t give a fuck.”

Then there sits an empty chair and beyond that at the head of the table sits myself, without body.

This helped me discover a few of the reasons why I did things that I shouldn’t be.

Why did I steal that?

Because now you have another item that adds to your social status. It’s what’s cool

It was very likely to succeed. I saw no cause to raise the alarm.

I was out voted. Don’t steal.

While success was likely the consequences of a failed attempt would have been disaster. Don’t do that again without first consulting us.

Nice. Fuck that guy am I right.

Well there you have it a peak behind the framework that I use to deliberate future courses of action when I have time to internally debate whether or not any idea is a good idea or bad one.

Did this solve the ever present problem of long-term self destructive behavior. NO, each behavior must be analyzed and dealt with individuality. There is not blanket cure-all one pill solution to apply.

Much Love,


Motivations of the Vox Day male hierarchy

The purpose of this article of thought is to explore and define the motivations of each  tier of the Vox male hierarchy.

Understanding what motivations each position is important because then it is easier to understand and predict how each position will act in a given situation.

From the bottom up.


Omegas’ primary concern is safety.

Omegas are defined by their exclusion from the hierarchy. They lack in personal hygiene and social skills sometimes by choice. If they smell bad or look threatening then people will leave them alone. If they are left alone then they are safe or safer from attacks by those in the group.

They can be keyboard warriors, behind the safety of anonymity, locked in their mothers basement. Now that they are in a safe space they can go above their Omega type and begin interacting. Unfortunately online social interactions lack the feedback systems of in person situations. This is why they can’t grow out of Omega habits that define them to the world.

But within the digital world where their primary concern is met (safety) they can flourish up the ranks of the hierarchy.

They can become a valued contributor or even moderator to a forum becoming a proxy Bravo.

They can participate in games as a Delta.

But this will not translate into the physical world and they will continue their Omega patterns. Primarily concerned with there own safety.


(Disclaimer as a Gamma this section may be poor. Leave a comment if you can help make this better.)

Gammas’ primary concern is pleasure.

Gammas seek the most pleasurable existence possible. That is why they erect their safe spaces. That is why they shy away from work that is uncomfortable. That is why they don’t care about the responsibilities of being the leader of an organization. They care about themselves and only produce and participate if they garner pleasurable rewards.

They are emotionally volatile because they enjoy the highs that come with it even if they have to suffer the GAMMA meltdowns that come.

They tend to be smarter because they will find the shortest route to pleasure and use their intelligence to further their enjoyment and minimize their discomfort. These shortcuts are as much their downfall as they are a key characteristic. Intelligence or knowledge seeking is often a pleasurable activity because of the dopamine release associated with it.

Now what isn’t pleasurable is reformation or abstinence from a behavior that is immediately pleasurable but has long-term consequences.

For instance destructive teasing. May feel good as they assert themselves over someone else but this is not in line with the long term goals of the other tiers.

Gamma’s live and die by

“What’s in it for me?”


Deltas’ primary concern is acceptance

Deltas are defined as the worker bees of the hierarchy. They are the foundation that gets the work done. Their desire is acceptance by the group. If they engage in teasing they are attempting the male ritual of acceptance through hazing, which I do not approve of.

At my bill paying job, we drive forklifts during breaks each persons individual forklift is parked at a central location for the duration of the break. If you’re the first one to take break you can expect that someone may unplug your battery pack or flip the switch that turns off your forklift. Now a Delta does this saying jokes on you. If you’re a Delta or a Bravo you’ll have a laugh and get them back later in the same way.

If your an Omega or Gamma, you will see this as a personal attack. Someone has messed with your personal Lift. They view this the same way a Delta or Bravo would if someone messed with their car.

Deltas understand the greater social context around this momentary inconvenience. Gammas and Omegas don’t.

What I find most ironic. Is that everyone should be inspecting their equipment every time they have left it unattended for more than five minutes. For safety. If their is a frayed wire or your battery needs charging an inspection now saves ten to twenty minutes later.

Deltas will work within the group and for the goals of the group as long as they are accepted. If a large group during lunch talks about a new show, sport, or other water-cooler type talk. Deltas will check out that show or sport so they can join in and keep their status.


Bravos’ primary concern is validation

Validation from below and above.

This is why Bravos implode when they take an Alpha role. Without a clear point for validation from above they will try to make everyone happy and succeed in making no one happy.

Bravos will spend more on status symbols to separate themselves and become envied by the Deltas below them. These fancy cars and nice suits garner envy from below and validate the choices they make.

Bravos are the sheep dogs of the group. They are tasked indirectly or directly to keep the Deltas and Gammas on task. (Omegas in an organization tend to work as contractors and don’t need managing. They need only a clear goal and role. Then to be left alone as long as they are fulfilling that.)

By keeping the workers on task or providing gains for the Alpha they expect validation in return. That what they are doing is important and they are good at it.

Because validation over acceptance is their primary motivator. They seek higher paying positions. They pay attention to social interactions so they can gain higher status. They modify their habits so they stay one step above Delta but without the shy away from the responsibility of an Alpha.


Alphas’ primary concern is Power

Seems simple enough but it is why they want that power that is the difference between the captain of the football team and the CEO of a Fortune five hundred company.

Alphas need Power in order to accomplish their mission.

Alphas have a mission and they seek power to accomplish that mission. Their missions can be broad bring glory and gold to Rome, end cyclic tribal warfare in Mongolia, or acquire wealth and power for the family. The missions can be specific win homecoming day game, play a full Dungeons and Dragons campaign, Take the boys out on the town. Their missions can be multi-layered like: become a professional basketball player, become president, or cure disease.

Drive to complete these missions are what attracts Deltas and Bravos to support an Alpha. Because the Alpha knows that he needs Power to accomplish his mission. His actions are in accordance with gaining more Power to accomplish his mission.

Take the Football captain. He needs the respect and envy of the Bravos and Deltas. He will date the Head Cheerleader because she occupies a position of power and he will have more respect from his men and the school. This respect is social currency he will spend to accomplish his mission.

He will work very hard at practice to inspire his men to work just as hard. He will study plays conveying relevant information to his teammates.

The strength of the Alpha as an Alpha is determined by the lengths he is willing to go to accomplish his mission. The more he does to further the accomplishment of the mission the greater an Alpha he is. Because he will inspire his Bravos to give more for the mission so they can be validated. The Deltas will be trying to keep pace with the Bravos. The Gammas see the rewards of cheerleader dates, glory, and they will suffer for the rewards being promised.

Without the hierarchy under him the Alpha is just an Omega with a mission.

After the mission is complete and the power has been consolidated the Alpha may fall into destructive Gamma behavior. Stoicism is the antidote to this. As well as finding a new mission.

If you enjoyed this article of thought you may want to check out

Vox day is a Gamma


Secret Kings

That’s all the thoughts I have on that matter for now.

With love,